RAPE vs. Sex and Crime vs. Mistake

It’s election 2014 in India. Media and TV channels working day and night with no rest to cover each and every event, speeches by political parties and all incidents associated with elections. Much more than the candidates, Journalist and News anchors are so busy that they left their brains and wisdom in the restrooms. Predominantly media practices yellow journalism. However, this time they showed their desperation to attack Samajwadi Party’s Netaji and their leaders for their remarks pertaining to RAPE to such an extent that I felt it is supermarket tabloid or red top journalism.

The definition of Rape as per Indian Penal code also includes that the mistake of having sex by boys in a live-in relationship, is also a RAPE and should be punished with death sentence. It is important to note that as per NCRB Statistics 75% of rape cases are false and NCRB statistics also reveal the proximity of the rapist with accusers. It has been recorded that 90% of the cases the accused was known to accusers.

On Thursday, Samajwadi Party chief Mulayam Singh Yadav opposed capital punishment for rape, saying “ladke, ladke hain… galti ho jati hai (boys will be boys… they commit mistakes). And further said that If SP forms government, they will amend the law of giving death sentence to rape accused.

Media twisted the above statements of Netaji, to destroy the truth before it exposes the gender biased society. A very clever game played by the TV anchors to spike their respective Channels TRPs.

To understand the depth of Netaji’s statement let me take you to basics of vocabulary. Rape is termed as crime when it is done with or without consent, forcefully and inducing the girl to have sex.

Netaji never said that boys are boys and they do rape. But he said that boys do mistake of having sex with the girl before marriage. Any prudent man or women would agree that sex by mistake is not a rape, and they should not be hanged for such mistakes.

This is what Netaji’s statements convey very strong opposition to such meaningless penal provision. But sensationalism obsessed Media, side stepped the real issue and cherry picking “shocking” taglines instead of debating death penalty to such mistakes committed out of love and affection. Only because the relationship didn’t work and treating a mistake of having sex by boys as greater crime than any other and subjecting them to such harsh punishment is absurd in the highest order. Even a terrorist who rapes integrity of a nation is given a chance to live by delaying the death sentence.

If such a stringent punishment is warranted for boys for such mistakes, then the statement followed by Abu Azmi which says ‘Women having premarital sex should be hanged’ shall be welcomed by all those who criticize the SP leaders. If they don’t accept death sentence for such women, then they don’t have any intellectual, moral authority to criticize who question the Rape laws.

Having sex is not a Rape and Mistake of Sex should not be a crime at all.

News Articles ..

1. When husbands are victims of domestic violence

 Sat in a chair and beaten by his wife as their help watched — this is what former James Bond stuntman Eddie Kidd endured for years at the hands of his wife Samantha.

After his wife was jailed, he told a British newspaper, “She had started drinking heavily and would slap me, punch me, strangle me and say horrible things. As a man, to be beaten by your wife is desperately humiliating and, in a way, shameful.” Eddie was left unable to walk after suffering injuries from a bike stunt gone wrong, and his wife called him a “f****** spastic” in fits of drunken rage.

Spousal abuse is a serious problem that is not just faced by women. While news of dowry-related harassment and crimes against women are reported extensively in the media, there are a growing number of men who are at the receiving end of harassment, and face physical and psychological abuse at the hands of their wives. What’s worse, the humiliation and shame of this act going public forces them to keep mum. Eddie found justice when his wife was arrested on charges of domestic abuse, but men in India are not as lucky, says Rukma Chary, general secretary, Save Indian Family Foundation.

“Domestic violence against men in India is not recognized by the law. The general perception is that men cannot be victims of violence. This helps women get away scot-free,” says Rukma, who has been accused of domestic violence and dowry harassment, among other offences, by his estranged wife. Terming this ‘legal terrorism’, as the judiciary almost always favours the woman, he adds, “Domestic violence cases are supposed to be resolved in six months, but this never happens. Once a case is filed, the husband has to attend every hearing — which takes place once every 10 days — otherwise he is viewed as the wrongdoer in the court’s eyes. Mind you, there are no questions raised if the woman doesn’t attend hearings.”

In recent years, there has been a spurt in the number of men who have been physically abused by their wives. Although the trauma may be the same, the methods of inflicting abuse vary. “Men are stronger and hit their wives, but women, in many cases, ask another man — their brother, father, friend or hired goons — to assault their husbands,” explains Anil Kumar, a social researcher. Society isn’t sympathetic to harassed men; being beaten up by one’s wife invites mockery and jokes, and men who speak out about their woes are considered ‘unmanly’.

Like women, men also find it hard to get out of abusive relationships, but Anil feels that the situation is worse for men, as they not only fear being away from their children, but are also worried about a false dowry case being filed against them. Men who are accused of domestic violence get marginalized by society and even friends and family turn their backs on them. Rukma believes that for men, it is huge emotional battle, one which proved to be too much for one Bangalore resident. Manoj Kumar approached the police after he was assaulted by his wife, and the cops not only ridiculed him, but said that they will call his wife and ask her to file a case against him. Manoj took his own life.

Thirty three-year-old Santosh Raj was faced with a similar predicament, but chose to fight instead. His world came crashing down when three months into his marriage, his wife hired goons, who not only attacked him, but also beat up his parents, brothers and sister. “My wife accused me of impotency and demanded money. If I was impotent, then she would have come to know on the first night itself; why did she have to wait for three months? She demanded 1 crore for a divorce. My father somehow brought this amount down to 35 lakh. As per the arrangement, 15 lakh was paid and the remaining amount was to be paid after the divorce was finalized. But they soon started asking for the remaining amount. I knew that they wouldn’t stop harassing me if I gave them 20 lakh, so I went underground for some time,” says Santosh.

Abuse against men is no laughing matter. The Save Indian Family Foundation meets once a week and every week, 4-5 new people attend these meetings. The demands of all harassed men are simply this: There must be a misuse clause added to the Domestic Violence Act and the law must be genderneutral, so that women can’t falsely accuse their husbands.

Why men suffer in silence

Protect children: Just like women, men worry that leaving their spouses will harm their children or prevent them from having access to them. Obtaining custody of children is always challenging for fathers, as is the prospect of raising them alone.

Feel ashamed: Many men feel ashamed at being beaten by a woman, or feel that they have failed in their role as a protector and provider for the family.

Fear of cases: The biggest fear in Indian men is being slapped with a dowry harassment case. Not only is it hard to shake off the social stigma that comes with being charged with such an act, but the cases also tend to drag on for years and are almost always in the woman’s favour.

Parental pressure: Even today, most men continue to live with their parents even after getting married. When differences arise, parents generally step in and can sometimes make matters worse with their own demands.

Denial: Just as with female domestic violence victims, denying that there is a problem only prolongs the abuse. Men believe that they can help or change their abuser, but change can only happen once the abuser takes full responsibility for her behaviour and seeks professional treatment.

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2013-12-08/man-woman/44283961_1_save-indian-family-foundation-domestic-violence-harassed-men

http://www.thenewage.co.za/113543-12-53-When_husbands_are_victims_of_domestic_violence

 2.    When the lady is lewd

 As allegations against Phaneesh Murthy revive discussions on sexual harassment in the workspace, activists for men’s rights question why the new law protects only women.

 Three months ago Rajesh Pillai, an executive with a multinational firm, accepted a Facebook friend request from a female colleague at work. “Jovial and friendly, ” is how Pillai describes her, revealing they exchanged inconsequential messages for some time. But gradually, Pillai claims his colleague’s communication became bawdy and suggestive. When she propositioned him, Pillai, a married man, says he ended their Facebook friendship, but alleges that she continued pursuing him via texts and phone calls. “When I didn’t respond, she threatened to implicate me in a false rape case, ” says Pillai, a 32-year-old resident of Jabalpur, Madhya Pradesh.

Armed with the evidence of SMSes, emails and Facebook messages, Pillai went to meet Harinarayan Chari Mishra, superintendent of police, Jabalpur. When Pillai complained to the duty clerk, he was unprepared for the response. “The officials laughed at me” he says, angrily.

At a time when allegations of sexual harassment by a female co-worker against iGate CEO and former Infosys director Phaneesh Murthy have made international headlines, it is shocking to learn that had the situation been reversed, and had Murthy been in India, there is very little he could have done to make a legal case for himself.

For starters, the Sexual Harassment of Women at Workplace (Prevention, Prohibition and Redressal) Law, which came into effect in April 2013, does not cover harassment of men. This point was debated while the law, drafted by the Ministry of Women and Child Development (WCD), was in bill form. Despite the parliamentary standing committee in December 2011 asking that the “viability” of protecting men from sexual harassment at the workplace be “explored”, no amendments were made to the bill. The committee’s suggestions were based on the fact that sexual harassment laws are gender neutral in countries like the UK, France and Germany.

Regarding Pillai’s case, Mishra says it is clearcut sexual harassment. But the only options available to the police to proceed with the complaint are to book the offender – Pillai’s colleague – under Sections 507 (telephonic threat) of the Indian Penal Code and Section 66-67 of the IT Act (writing of an abusive or objectionable nature). Mishra claims Pillai is not the first man to attempt filing a harassment complaint against a woman in his police station, and official sources admit there has been a rise in the number of complaints from men who have been threatened or blackmailed after consensual relationships sour. “Last month, a 20-year-old boy came to us seeking protection from a 42-year-old woman. He alleged she was trying to force him into a relationship, ” says Mishra, adding that the two have since resolved their differences. However, Pillai, whose case has been rejected by several lawyers, is unwilling to step down, despite the pressure he is under at work.

Allegations of this kind can destroy a man’s career and personal life, says Sandesh Chopdekar, vice-president of Pune-based NGO Men’s Rights Association, explaining why men don’t usually come forward. “Ninety-nine per cent of male victims don’t disclose such incidents and even those who call us for help or come for counseling are reluctant to open up, ” says Chopdekar, who claims a majority of complaints to their helpline are from the corporate world, men too scared or ashamed to blow the whistle on indecent proposals. “They need a lot of coaxing to tell their story. And since there are no specific laws all we can do is provide them emotional support, as well as some tips on how to get by at work, ” he says, sharing that men are counseled to preserve every written piece of communication from their harassers, and to stay strong when mocked by co-workers.

Chopdekar admits that cases where women are the harassers rarely end with vindication for the men they harass. “Our experience has been that once their situation becomes public, these men are either fired at the mere whiff of a scandal or quit voluntarily to avoid embarrassment, ” he says, revealing that the new Sexual Harassment Act has further complicated attempts to resolve such situations for men. “Our hopes were raised when WCD minister Krishna Tirath said the ministry was planning to conduct a study into the issue and root for a gender neutral law. But at the end, it has resulted in a lopsided piece of legislation. ”

The new Act defines sexual harassment as “unwelcome sexually determined behavior”, which could be physical contact, request for sexual favours, sexually-coloured remarks, etc.

Activists for men’s rights, while questioning the exclusion of men from this law, ask – can’t men be harassed by women on these grounds? “Are men predators and women only prey?” Rukma Chary of the Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF), Bangalore chapter, asks. SIFF, an NGO fighting for men’s rights, gender equality and family harmony by creating awareness about the misuse of anti-male laws, is questioning why the strength of the Criminal Law amendment ordinance, which addressed harassment of both men and women, was diminished by the Lok Sabha which passed the new act. Shalini Mathur, director, Suraksha, a women’s rights NGO in Lucknow differes. She says, “The policymakers realised that 99. 5 per cent victims of sexual harassment are women. Men have both power and influence to take care of themselves. In any case, the harassment law prescribes punishment for false complaints filed with for mala fide intentions. “

Quoting from a 2010-11 survey by Economic Times conducted across seven cities, Chary says, “Of the 527 people interviewed, 19 per cent admitted to some kind of sexual harassment. Half of them claimed their harassers were women”. Chary believes that faced with these numbers, a review of the system is inevitable. Recently, representatives of the Azim Premji Foundation visited their centre to discuss the scale of the problem and the possibility of holding a sensitisation workshop in their company. Enthused by their interest, SIFF is working on a strategy to reach out to other corporate houses. “The problem cannot be wished away, and fortunately India Inc is now accepting it exists, ” Chary concludes. “We are certain that discussions will be followed up with action.”

 http://www.timescrest.com/life/when-the-lady-is-lewd-10477

• 3.    Harassed men can now call for help

In a further step towards gender equality and protecting men’s rights, the Men’s Rights Association (MRA), has started the firstever helpline in the city for men facing sexual harassment at their workplace.

The 24/7 helpline was launched on Thursday and activists claim they have been receiving fourfive calls daily and expect the numbers to increase. Similar helplines have also been set up in Delhi, Bangalore, Mumbai, Nagpur and Hyderabad and victims will be provided with legal and psychiatric aid.

The decision was taken against the backdrop of the Sexual Harassment at Workplace Bill and the Irretrievable Breakdown of Marriage Bill (Marriage Law Amendment Bill), to be passed in the coming winter session of Parliament.

Atit Rajpara, founder-president of MRA said, “Men are often deprived due to unfair laws. A recent ET-Synovate survey in seven cities revealed that over 50 per cent of men admitted they have been sexually harassed at their workplace.

In Pune, around 5 per cent of the men spoken to agreed that they are facing the same.” Sandesh Chopdekar, vice-president of MRA said, “Lewd remarks about their dressing sense, bold comments on their physical appearance, and uncomfortable proximity by female colleagues while trying to discuss official matters are just some of the ways men are harassed.”

Describing a complaint they received, Chopdekar said, “A female manager of a multi-national bank was constantly requesting a male colleague to stay back late and asking him for a drop home. We suggested he write to the HR department. After he did, the woman stopped .”

Response in other cities

Wasif Ali of the Delhi helpline said, “The response has been low so far, but we expect it to get better once it catches on. Amit Deshpande of the Mumbai helpline said, “Most of the cases are regarding harassment from the wife.

We receive around 6-7 calls daily.” Rukma Chary of Bangalore said, “The response has been good, with around 10-15 calls daily. Men are already harassed over women misusing the Dowry Law (Section 498a of the IPC).”

http://www.punemirror.in/article/2/201210022012100209290600e3152de4/Harassed-men-can-now-call-for-help.html

4.    Marriage made in Lok Sabha has men seeking safe heaven

What do city boy Atit Rajpara, T R Partha from Hyderabad, Bangalorean Rukma Chary and Umesh Talwar, a Lucknowite, have in common? For starters, they’ll be meeting at Jantar Mantar in New Delhi when Parliament is in winter session to protest the tabling of two ‘anti-men’ Bills — the Irretrievable Breakdown of Marriage (IrBM) Bill, and the Sexual Harassment at Workplace Bill (SHWB).

Mahendra Kolhe

A Men’s Rights Association meeting underway on Sunday in Sambhaji Garden

Already, men’s organisations are coming together to ‘combat’ what they feel will be an exploitative tool in the hands of ‘unscrupulous’ women as they feel there is little in the way of ensuring a voice for men accused of violations under provisions outlined in the Bills.

While the future of the IrBM Bill is still hanging in the Lower House, its members found enough time during the recently-concluded, chaotic monsoon session to pass it without changes.

Rajpara, a founding member of Men’s Rights Association (MRA), says his organisation has written to all 237 Rajya Sabha MPs urging them to consider the views of the Indian Male on the issue. MRA will join hands with men’s rights organisations from across the country, including Daman, Aadmi, Confidare, Save India Family Foundation, CRISP and the All India Men’s Welfare Association.

“The IrBM Bill, which is an amendment to the Marriage Laws Act, 2010 and the SHWB have been introduced in undue haste, without proper consultation and open public debate. If passed, the Bills will have serious ramifications on the Hindu family system,” Rajpara said.

The IrBM Bill, he added, contains a clause which says the husband has no right to oppose a divorce petition filed by the wife under this, but the wife can oppose a divorce filed by the husband.

“Another clause empowers courts to attach half the husband’s property, including his inherited property, and give it to the wife. This law does not consider men, their female relatives and and other dependants,” he added.

Rajpara said the Bill, if enacted, would also give courts the power not to grant the divorce until the husband pays a considerable sum under the ‘Financial Security of Women’ head. “ I feel this law will be heavily misused by women,” he said.

MRA, so far, has received acknowledgements from several Rajya Sabha MPs including Mani Shankar Aiyar, as well as the Prime Minister’s Office.

Chary, who is with Save India Family Foundation in Bangalore, said if the SHWB is passed in its present form, many corporates could change their way of working and hiring.

Umesh Talwar of Aadmi in Lucknow is calling for gender-neutral laws in line with the existing Hindu Marriage Act.

Save Family Foundation, New Delhi’s Swarup Sarkar said the words “husband/wife” must be replaced by “spouse” for equality, while T R Partha of Men’s Community Centre (MCC), Hyderabad felt both Bills are “extremely prejudiced against men”. “We’re planning on meet major corporates in Pune to discuss the SHWB because it will definitely affect workplace harmony,” Rajpara said.

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•   Men’s rights orgs from across India are uniting to protest ‘anti-men’ Bills
•   Say marriage law amendment and workplace harassment bill ‘irrational’

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►   If the Sexual Harassment at the Workplace Bill is passed in the current form, many companies will change their way of working. It might lead to drastic changes in hiring processes — we may see companies hiring only either men or women. The govt should make all current bills and acts gender neutral

– Rukma Chary , Save India Family Foundation, Bangalore

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►   The word husband/wife must be replaced by the word spouse in this bill, otherwise it could lead to total extortion of men’s hard-earned money and property. With the word ‘spouse’, both get equal responsibility

– Swarup Sarkar, Save India Family Foundation, Delhi

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►   The GoI must not pass this law in the current form and must consult men’s rights organisations first, make it gender neutral and only then pass it. The current Hindu Marriage Act, for example, is gender neutral

– Umesh Talwar,Aadmi, Lucknow

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►   With bills like the Sexual Harassment at Workplace Bill (SHWB) and Irretrievable Breakdown of Marriage Bill (IrBM), GoI is making no effort to hide its malice and hatred towards men. Both new bills are extremely prejudiced against men

– T R Partha, Men’s Community Centre, Hyderabad

 

http://www.punemirror.in/article/62/20120924201209240904087891af75108/Marriage-made-in-Lok-Sabha-has-men-seeking-safe-heaven.html

Men’s Rights Activists are dismayed at lack of political will to protect men

Activists fighting for men’s rights have expressed extreme amount of displeasure and dismay at the Cabinet’s decision on the rape law.

Background:

The discussion around the rape law gained ground after all media channels unanimously hyped a single case of Delhi gang-rape (December 16, 2012) and made it a national issue inciting public emotions against the male gender and accusing the Government not doing enough to protect women. This was despite the already existing toughly anti-male rape laws and 15 other laws targeted specifically against men which were draconian, barbaric and unconstitutional in nature.

Bowing down to the pressure from the feminist dominated media, the Govt. formed a committee under retired judge Justice Verma whose recommendations sought to convert every intra-gender (male-female) transaction into a non-bailable offense, punishable at the whim and fancy of the woman. All this was done under cute names like stalking, voyeurism, eve-teasing etc. Every definition of crime was not only vague but one-sided. None of the definitions included abuse of men by women.

However, on 3^rd February 2013, the Government passed an Ordinance called the Rape Ordinance which identified a wide variety of sexual assaults affecting both the genders and passed a gender neutral ordinance which covered male victims of sexual assault as well. This was a historic move wherein, for the first time in the history of India, a gender neutral law was passed which recognized the abuse of men as well and sought to protect them.

The Shocker:

However, the feminist and the feminist dominated media were extremely unhappy about men being protected and created a lot of hue and cry over the Ordinance being gender neutral and sought to nullify it calling it anti-women.

And the shocker came on the 11^th of March 2013, whence the Government actually did a U-Turn, reverting back the bill being gender biased and anti-male, renaming it as the “Anti-Rape Law” instead of erstwhile “Sexual Assault Bill”, leaving male victims of such offenses high and dry.

The consequences:

While, as we all know, it won’t be the case that with the passage of this yet another anti-male law, which does not cater to the problems of the male world, the lives of men are suddenly going to become risky.

Lives of men have always been risky as primarily it is the men who undertake huge risks in order to ensure cultural, technological and societal progress and selflessly men have lost their lives for the same, be it war or adventure or scientific inventions.

Whether it is a case of 5 army-men losing their lives attempting to safeguard the borders of India or a couple of fishermen losing their lives accidentally as they undertake daily risk of fishing in troubled waters in order to eke out a livelihood.

It’s just that, with this law, the lives of men are going to become riskier as now the streets have become extremely dangerous for men as now,

1. Any man who gets entangled with a woman in any sort of argument, which can be due to the woman’s fault or provoked by her will be converted into a false case of stalking or voyeurism and the man would be immediately arrested. For no fault of his, the man would be fighting a frivolous criminal battle.
2. Male victims of feminine sexual aggression, female sex offenders and female rapists would be embroiled in false rape cases wherein the perpetrator of the crime and the victim of the crime would just swap roles.
3. Boys facing sexual assault, inappropriate touch, and sexual oppression from girls and adult female relatives including Ayaahs would continue to face the horror and grow up with an impaired psychology which will affect their quality of life at every stage. It may potentially increase criminal bent of mind in such boys as they grow up to become men and this could rather increase the crime in the society than decreasing it.
4. Small political parties like Maharastra Navnirman Sena, Samajawadi Party, Bahujan Samajwadi Party will face greater risks as their male political cadre could be trapped in false cases of stalking and eve-teasing by opposite parties, especially big and powerful political parties, and this could be a serious blow to the political roadmap of these small parties, who now have no option but to listen to UPA 2.
5. Increase of false cases of rape, molestation, stalking, voyeurism, etc. and the subsequent jailing and harassment of innocent men would contribute towards the growing element of Gynophobia (fear of women). This would result in men shying away from women and mingling with them. In fact, already the helplines of men’s rights activists have started ringing with queries like, “Is it OK to refuse to escort a woman at night?”, “Is it OK to refuse to a movie with a woman at night?”, etc.
6. This will also affect the voting pattern as men’s rights activists have vowed not to vote and to discourage others from voting for either anti-male MPs or for those political parties who did not support the gender neutrality of the bill. They’d rather people to vote for independents or for parties like SP, BSP and the Trinamool Congress.

The Problems:

It was extremely disheartening to see that the Government was bowing down before a few women organizations and backed out on its decision to provide the society with a gender neutral law. It is pertinent to mention here that the electorate of India has not voted for these women organizations, whosoever they may be.

The electorate of India has voted the UPA 2 Government to power and wrested the power of law-making in their hands and it becomes the duty of the UPA 2 Government to ensure a safe and free society for all citizens irrespective of caste, religions, sex and creed. Even the constitution of India, vide Article 14, guarantees the same. And hence, this regressive step of removing gender neutrality from the law is an unconstitutional step by UPA 2 in the event of its failure to contain the anti-male women organizations filled with male hatred.

Demands:

1. The Houses must not pass the gender-biased version of the bill and must send it back to the Standing Committee for further review.
2. As the Justice Verma Committee totally ignored the presentations sent by the various men’s rights groups, the said Standing Committee should invite these groups and take their views into consideration.
3. The bill must not be passed in the absence of a strong misuse clause to prevent false cases from becoming yet another industry of extortion and revenge.
4. Government must form National Commission for Men and Men Welfare Ministry in order to avoid such last minute hassles and rushes in law making.
5. Only Gender Neutral laws must be passed.
6. Women organizations with vested interests and partisan agenda must not be encouraged to such an extent that they can literally hijack the law-making process.

We end this press release with an end-note of caution that more and more anti-male laws will lead to rise in crime in the society, choice belies with the Government whether to heed to the warning or face the consequences.

STOP CRIMINALIZATION OF BAD MARRIAGES

PRESS RELEASE

Sub: SIFF Demands No Arrests No Maintenance in Marital Disputes.

Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF) is a non-funded non-profit NGO fighting for men’s rights, Gender Equality and Family Harmony by creating awareness against the misuse of anti-male laws like Section 498A (the dowry law), the Domestic Violence Act, and the various Maintenance laws etc. which are systematically breaking down the family system of India and perpetrating state sponsored abuse against men.

It is pertinent to note that in the last 65 years of Indian Independence neither a single rupee has ever been allocated for men’s welfare nor has a single Constitutional/Academic body ever been formed to study the problems faced by men let alone addressing them.

This emptiness has led SIFF to do research on men’s problems, talk to the victimized men,  understand their pain, collect data and statistics related to men’s abuse and create awareness  about them. SIFF has been doing this research since the last 8 years. Also SIFF and its allied NGOs all over India, have been engaging in various awareness campaigns to create awareness of men’s issues through media, internet blogs and road protests.

The Problem:

 One of the major problems that men face around marriages is criminalization of marital disputes. Every relationship has its own share of ups and downs, incompatibilities. However, it is being observed that with every year passing it is becoming a fashion for the wife’s family to threaten husband’s family of false dowry cases and false maintenance cases if the demands of the wife and/or her family are not met by husband and/or his family.

 Marital disputes are being used an excuse to convert bad marriages into false criminal cases based on false allegations of physical torture and dowry demand by husband towards the wife. 

 Police Atrocities:

1. Even the police are hand-in-glove with the wife’s family. When a wife approaches a police station, promptly an FIR under section 498A IPC is lodged and husband and his family is summoned to the police station under the pretext of counseling.
2. While even though the police is not authorized to conduct marital counseling, it attempts to do so and uses the excuse to threaten husband and his family to bow down before his wife’s demands else face false cases.
3. Husband is subjected to psychological and emotional torture (even physical at times) so that he breaks down and surrenders to the demand of his wife, which mostly revolves around giving huge sums of money and/or property to wife to “settle” the matter.
4. Nowadays, it is being observed that the police is even going to offices where the husband works in order to defame him and try to arrest him without an arrest warrant, without showing him the complaint copy and completely violating Section 41, 41A & 41B of the amended CrPC as per The CrPC Amendment Act, 2010.
5. As per this amendment, for all crimes punishable less than seven years of imprisonment, the accused must first be served with “Notice of Appearance”. If the accused does not comply with it, only then the police can arrest them. However, the police would be required to conduct thorough investigation prior to that on the complaint received, examine evidences presented, get an arrest warrant issued and record the reasons, as to why the accused was unable to comply with the “Notice of Appearance”.
6. But, as we examine the cases of harassment of men that come to us, we find that the police do none of this. Instead, they either call the husband on his mobile repeatedly to threaten him to come to police else face dire consequences, or create social pressure on him by going to his office and endangering his job. All this happens at the instance of an unverified and uninvestigated complaint. 

Inefficient Judiciary:

1. The Indian judiciary is also no less an evil in tormenting husband and his family in order to “Break” him so that he bows down before his wife’s demand which mostly revolve around getting a divorce after the husband pays “Extortion Amount” under the cute name of “Alimony” to the tune of millions and crores at times.
2. It is not a rare occurrence for a husband to be asked in court, “How much are you willing to pay to your wife to close the case?”
3. While, the husband knows he is innocent and the case lodged against him is false and the more he tries to run the case on merits, the more is his harassment. The commonest form of harassment is in the form of maintenance orders slapped against the husband.
4. Even if the wife is working, but if husband is not able to prove her employment, then courts make no efforts to ascertain the same on their own even when they have been given immense powers to do so.
5. As soon as the case is filed, the husband is gifted with an “interim maintenance order” which is decided even before looking into the merits of the case. Once, this order is passed, the cases drag on for years. While, the poor husband keeps running from pillar to post trying to prove his innocence before an insensitive judiciary, the wife enjoys the husband’s hard-earned money and uses his own money against him.
6. Women, deliberately leave their jobs just to get maintenance from husband and the maintenance ordered is nothing less than 20K – 30K per month. Women, also hide their source of income in order to present themselves as “Destitute” before the court in order to get maintenance. They even go to the extent of shedding crocodile tears in courts to overrule evidence analysis and more often than not judges pass orders based on emotions and social mindset rather than logic and facts on record.
7. The Indian Judiciary has failed to set examples by punishing women who lie in court whereas the judges are behooved to do so.

The Consequences:

 As a result of this anti-male bias in the legal system, men live under a lot of stress in marriages and as soon as their marriage is on rocks, they start fearing that their life is over. Added to that, social mindsets do not welcome a whining man as he is termed as “loser” and that he is not “man enough” to make his marriage work. Due to such language, the entire blame and responsibility of the marriage falls on the poor husband who finds no avenue helpful to him.

Exasperated, frustrated and horrified, many a men take recourse to ending their lives, a fact which is corroborated by the suicide figures published by the Union Home Ministry year after year.

In the year 2011, 62433 husbands committed suicides compared to 32582 wives. A cursory glance at the previous year’s establishes the trend.

Year	Husband Suicides	Wife Suicides
2010	61453	31754
2009	58192	31300
2008	57639	30224
2007	57593	30064
2006	55452	29869
2005	52483	28188

Source: http://ncrb.nic.in/adsi/main.htm

Also, as per analysis by the Union Home Ministry, domestic violence is the number one reason of suicides for both men and women alike. As the numbers of married men committing suicide is almost double the number of married women committing suicides, it is very clear that men are currently unprotected in marriages.

The Clarion Call:

Realizing the gravity of the situation, Save Indian Family Foundation makes a clarion call on the 19^th of January 2013 calling upon men and women alike to participate in a peaceful protest march from Town Hall Bangalore to Mysore Bank Circle. The protest will begin at 9:30 AM in the morning from Town Hall and shall end at 2:00 PM at Mysore Bank Circle.

The theme of the protest is “No Arrest, No Maintenance in Marital Disputes” along with the following demands placed before the Govt. of India:

1. Stop arresting innocent men and their families without investigation and trial in dowry cases.
2. Stop forcing men to maintain their estranged wives who approach court with unclean hands and fabricated desertion stories.
3. Sensitize the police and judiciary with the problems faced by men.
4. Treat husbands with dignity and integrity in marital disputes.
5. Form state wise and national commission of men to study problems faced by men in India.
6. Institute a Men’s Welfare Ministry to implement welfare schemes specifically targeted towards men and to create pro-male laws.
7. Stop treating husbands as FREE ATM MACHINES.
8. Protect men and their families from abusive wives and false dowry and domestic violence cases.
9. Take necessary steps to reduce suicides by men.
10. Take necessary steps not to project men negatively in media.

Similar protests will also be held in Kolkata, Hyderabad, Mumbai and Nagpur on the same day with the same theme and same demands.

Date: 17-Jan-2013                                                             Thanks and Regards

Place: Bangalore                                                              Coordinator

                                                                        Save Indian Family Foundation, Bangalore

I am not a COWARD

To sin by silence, when we should protest, Makes cowards out of men.

—-Wilcox, Ella Wheeler

People who do nothing when witnessing a crime are just as horrid as those committing it. They are “sinning” by their silence in the way they have not spoken against those committing an injustice.Made “cowards” by their silence, once confident men can be put to shame by not turning in a criminal. What gives them the right to ignore somebody in pain or another victim in need?

Letter to Media

Letter to Media

Date : 24th September, 2012

From,

Rukma Chary.P

Bangalore

 To,

Media,

India.

Subject: Condemning  “Protection of Women against Sexual Harassment Bill, 2010” and The Marriage (Amendment) Bill, 2012.

            Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF), is a registered, non-funded, non-profit, Non-Government Organization (NGO) headquartered at Bangalore, creating awareness about abuse of men by society, strongly opposes the Govt and protest anti-male legislations titled “The Protection of Women Against Sexual Harassment at Workplace Bill, 2010″ &  “The Hindu (Amendment) Marriage Act, 2012″ also known as IrBM Bill.

            In this regard SIFF joined protest against IrBM Bill at Jantar Mantar on 18th August, 2012. We also sent letters to all the Rajya Sabha Members raising our objections to  Sexual Harassment Bill which was passed by the Lok Sabha on 3rd September, 2012.

           “The Hindu Marriage (Amendment) Bill,  2012″ is a blind property transfer bill favoring wife in the event of  divorce and dilutes the institution of marriage and it’s sacrosanctity in the disguise of avoiding financial hardship of divorced women. The IrBM bill is also against the basic principles of  Natural Justice and violates  the basic axiom “audi alteram partem” which gives equal opportunity to be heard. This Bill does not allow the husband to contest or oppose the divorce petition filed by wife i.e. if husband want to save the marriage, he cannot challenge divorce. Courts will be empowered to snatch away more than 50% of the property of husband and give away to wife ignoring old-age parents of the husband who will  be deprived of their share/contribution in their son’s earnings & property . This bill ignores the age of conjugal relationship between wife and husband, i.e. if wife leaves her husband/matrimonial house after 1 week of marriage and she can file divorce after 3 years to get 50% or more property of husband without any objections.

            “The Sexual Harassment at Workplace Bill, 2010” enacted under Art.15 of Indian Constitution to protect Woman defeats right to equality guaranteed by the same Constitution under Art. 14.

            Suicidal deaths by working men is higher than the women committing suicides at workplace. With such huge variance in suicidal deaths between men and women where 4 times  more men commits suicides for various reasons, Govt of India is duty bound to study underlying causes of men disposability at workplace. And the current bill which is not only biased in favor of Woman,  but also against men. Govt. of India should give preference for enacting laws to protect men at  workplace to ensure value implication of constitutional principles.

            Government of India supported by Feminist advocates that provisions granted by Constitution empowers the State to adopt measures of positive discrimination in favor of women. But in this process, the law makers committing transgression of constitutional principles by ignoring gender equality enshrined in our Preamble. Such laws will add fuel at workplace environment leading to more litigations among individuals at workplace. Eventually most of the escalations will land in the courts which are already over occupied with gross misuse of laws such as 498a IPC.

            If Sexual Harassment at Work Place bill is passed in the current form many corporate companies will change their way of working and might lead drastic changes in their hiring process and we may see companies hiring either men or women only.

            We Men demand that govt. should stop chanting “OOHOO..!!!!…..WOMANIA…!!!” and should enact laws for protecting men from all forms of abuse and thus make all the current Bills and Acts gender neutral.

P.Rukma Chary

Yours Sincerely,

Public Relations Officer,

Save Indian Family Foundation,

Bangalore.

http://legalfighter.wordpress.com/2012/09/24/pune-mirror-front-page-exposes-facist-law-making-processes-of-women-and-child-development-ministry/

Ooh! Womania in India..!

Women & Child Development minister Smt. Krishna Tirath said in the media that she want to get a study conducted to find out what kind of harassment of males is prevalent and to what extent at workplaces, though till now only the harassment suffered by the women has been spoken about. Minister has completely ignored National Crime Records Bureau of MHA, India, which depicts altogether a different view. Suicidal deaths by working men is higher than the women committing suicides at workplace. Govt. of India should give preference for enacting laws to protect men at workplace to ensure value implication of constitutional principles. The proposed bill “Sexual Harassment at Workplace Bill enacted under Art.15 of Indian Constitution to protect Womania defeats right to equality guaranteed by the same Constitution under Art. 14.

Government of India supported by Feminist advocates that provisions granted by Constitution empowers the State to adopt measures of positive discrimination in favor of women, but in this process law makers committing transgression of constitutional principles by ignoring gender equality enshrined in our Preamble.
Media highlighted the fact that the Bill for Protection of Women against Sexual Harassment at Workplace was silent on similar treatment meted out to men. I miserably failed to understand why the law makers of our democratic country chanting oh Womania of India..!, when Men need more protection at workplace rather than Womania. With such huge variance in suicidal deaths between men and women where more men commits suicides for various reasons, Govt of India is duty bond to study underlying causes of men disposability at workplace. And the current bill which is not only biased in favor of Womania, but also against men.

The Protection of Women Against Sexual Harassment at Work Place bill defines Sexual harassment as unwelcome sexually determined behavior such as:

•  physical contact,
• request for sexual favors,
• sexually colored remarks,
• screening of pornography, or
• any other conduct of sexual nature.

And the big questions is., why this bill protects only women against sexual harassment committed by Men only? Only Men are Predators? Does this means women never commit such unwelcome sexually determined behavior? On 08-Aug, 2012 TOI reported that CBI named Jaswanti Devi, secretary of NGO Bharat Vikas Sangh which runs Apna Ghar, as accused in the child abuse, sexual harassment & rape case. Besides Jaswanti, the CBI also named her daughter Sushma alias Simmi, and another women named Sheela and Apna Ghar counselor Veena Rani in the chargesheet. In March 2012, she was awarded with Indira Gandhi Mahila Shakti Puraskar, carrying Rs. 1 lakh cash prize and a citation. The award was conferred on her by Haryana Chief Minister’s wife Asha Hooda and women and child development minister Geeta Bhukkal at a state-level function organized in Jhajjar. She was also bestowed with a national award in 2011 for helping destitute in Haryana. Using her NGO and her influence, she also became a member of district-level child welfare committee and juvenile justice board. When women at high reach and with power can commit sexual harassment then why not a lady boss in a corporate company?
(source: http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2012-08-08/india/33099458_1_cbi-files-chargesheet-ngo-bharat-vikas-sangh-jaswanti-devi/ )
Such laws will add fuel at workplace environment leading to more litigations among individuals at workplace. Eventually most of the escalations will land in the courts which are already over occupied with gross misuse of laws such as 498a IPC.

We Men demand that govt. should stop ohoo…..Womania and should enact laws for protecting men from sexual abuse and thus make all the current bills and Acts gender neutral.

BEWARE OF THE LADY BOSS Part 1

BEWARE OF THE LADY BOSS Part 2

If Sexual Harassment at Work Place bill is passed in the current form many corporate companies will change their way of working and might lead drastic changes in their hiring process and we may see companies hiring only men or women.

http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/features/special-report/even-men-arent-safe-from-sexual-harassment-at-workplace-survey/articleshow/6389438.cms

My Endless Redemption…..

                                        18th August, 2011 was attending my class in my law college in Bangalore and my phone rung my favorite ring tone. It was my brother calling from Hyderabad.  Aftermath of false cases against me & my family members by my wife accusing molestation and desertion, my brother disassociated from me and  never calls to know my whereabouts, so I had no choice and came out of my class after take permission from my teacher who is teaching Hindu Family law. With surprise I said “hello” and the reply from my brother shocked me when I got to know that my wife imputed (defamed) me and my family through one of the prominent TV News channel in Hyderabad. TV news channel in their daily morning news telecasted 3 minutes program titled “N.R.I YAMMUDU” which means YAM RAJ from West on 8th of August, 2011.  The worst thing happened on the same day in the evening where police had no other choice but to register an FIR under section 498A, DP3&.4 against me and my family members without any investigation.  My brother was calm and not in panic as I have predicted a month ago that 498a FIR is about to happen but never expected that in-laws will go an extra mile and project me in such a bad light and degrade  my family reputation with false allegations with malafide  intentions only know to her and her family. Instructed my brother to cooperate with the police investigation and disconnected the call by saying that I will soon join him in Hyderabad.

                                I left the college and reached home to find out the unknown and unexpected tarnish of my image in the eyes of law and society. My seven years of experience in Information Technology helped me to locate and trace the program telecasted on TV channel from the internet.

I was shocked, and the ocean of tears draining from my eyes while watching TV news episode choreographed by my wife and in-laws.        Without disclosing the real facts and making all the faults and by playing fraud upon me, my wife & in-laws went to the extent to malign me and my family members by defaming in the general public by telling bundle of lies that, in Hyderabad another NRI husband for getting the property of the wife conspired with relatives and trying to kill all of them. In the program she even alleged that even though she made complaint to the local police, they are not responding and not taking any action. The same is broadcasted for a period of 3 minutes by showing my marriage photos and my 2 year old son.

                                My life changed completely after one year of annoyance in my mind, and lost credibility and integrity only because of this TV News program which projected me as  GOD of DEATH from West and also terming me as wife beater, dowry taker…….blood sucker ..Etc. The episode on TV news channel diminished my professional ethics harming the carrier with great negative impact. As professional ethics is critical to my carrier, I have always maintained no secrecy about my personal life with my companies that I want to work with. My sincerity lead to closed doors for work as no company will hire a person with such negative campaign against me which is now known to everyone. It spread like a wild fire among our relatives & friends about the TV news program as we are from very orthodox family with deep roots in a village in Medak.  My wife named my brother and his wife, for default of her acts in her marital life and also brought disrepute to me and to them in the society leading to character assassination. My friends started touting me as “YAMMUDU” and even saved my phone number with the same.

                It took around 6 months for me to come out of depression and annoyance that I have been with due to trail by media and it’s repercussion in all dimension of my life which effected mentally, emotionally, physically and professionally. It took another 3 months to garner strength and collate all my resource to fight back. Currently filed civil defamation suit against my in-laws which is now sub-judice to the court and also filed criminal defamation case which is dismissed by lower court and the appeal is pending in the sessions court of Hyderabad. Also filed Cyber crime complaint against the TV channel website since the program is still alive on their website.

                                My endless redemption has begun from JANTAR MANTAR on 18th August, 2012 and will continue from the court room for Civil and Criminal Defamation cases.                            ———————– Rukma Chary